


catch me if i fall for you

by pandacat75978



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Boys Will Be Boys, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route Spoilers, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Birthday Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:49:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29162934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandacat75978/pseuds/pandacat75978
Summary: By some miracle, Ashe has made it into the Officer's Academy. Ready and determined to study his hardest and keep his spot, he believes he's ready for anything. Except for being in the same class as the crown prince. If Ashe thought being in a room of nobles as awful, don't even consider the intimidation of the prince.To Ashe's greatest fear, His Highness takes a liking to him. He can only hope the butterflies in his stomach will settle.
Relationships: Annette Fantine Dominic & Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert, Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert & Dedue Molinaro, Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert & Felix Hugo Fraldarius, Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert & Ingrid Brandl Galatea, Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert & Sylvain Jose Gautier, Blue Lions Students & Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd & Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd & Blue Lions Students, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd & Felix Hugo Fraldarius, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert
Kudos: 11
Collections: Ashe Big Bang





	1. bubbling feelings

**Author's Note:**

> This is my piece for the Ashe Big Bang project on Twitter! I've been working on it even before the big bang was an event, so this is really a passion project of mine!  
> I was paired with the artist @CtyAya on Twitter and as soon as they post their art, I'll add it to the chapter notes.   
> I hope you enjoy this fic as much as I enjoyed making it!

Ashe’s heart is in his throat and he can’t swallow it. Without any doubt in his mind, this is the most excited he’s ever felt. More adrenaline pumps through his whole body than when he first laid his eyes upon Lord Lonato’s fancy storybooks. Ashe is higher than the clouds right now. 

Goddess. This was one once in a lifetime experience Ashe wouldn't dare waste. As a commoner, Garreg Mach is already like one of his dreamscapes. It’s a place he can’t even visualize from the depictions in his adopted father's library. However, being in the scenery of brick and mortar is much more enchanting than Ashe could ever dream of. Best of all, he was there as a student at the Officer's Academy. 

Ashe comes to a reeling halt at doors to the Blue Lion classroom. He takes in a deep breath. In; one, two. Out; one, two. Is he ready? He shrugs nerves out of his shoulders and shakes his muscles loose like a dog after a bath. The nerves come right back after seeing so many students inside: twenty, thirty, maybe forty other people in the classroom. He shivers in anticipation before his eyes settle on the banners billowing outside the doors. 

Royal blue lions are embroidered onto the twin tapestries with full, fluffy manes and gleaming fangs. Their feline muzzles are curled into ferocious snarls and their manes are puffed with overflowing. 

Ashe mimics their dignified stance by straightening his posture and puffing out his own chest. He chuckles playfully at himself before striding inside with newfound confidence. 

Clusters of students are scattered throughout the room, but a bright flash of blue and messy blond hair near the front of the room catches his eye. He focuses on the way the light from the window illuminates the boy's frame and finds himself admiring the shining smile the student bears. This moment freezes him in time, encases him in a bubble, and makes it feel like forever even if it was only a few seconds. 

Those brilliant, sapphire blue eyes catch Ashe's staring emerald gaze with curiosity. He tears away from the trance and scurries to claim a seat by the teacher's desk. He sighs almost dreamily after the thrilling instant as he sets his belongings down at a desk. However, the blond was quick to approach Ashe as he was settling in. 

"Welcome to the Blue Lion House! Who might you be?"

Ashe flushes, stumbling forward and spilling some forms and papers from his desk. "Ah, I'm so sorry! My name is Ashe. Ashe Ubert."

"Oh! You're the adopted son of Lord Lonato, yes?"

"That would be correct."

"Excellent, I was impressed seeing you in the house roster. I'll be the leader of the house, Dimitri Blaiddyd."

Ashe's jaw nearly hits the floor. Dimitri? The _Prince_ Dimitri? He snaps his mouth shut and practically dives for his own papers. Unfortunately, the Prince had just noticed the mess too and had begun to bend over to pick up the documents as well. They knock their heads together, hard.

They both yelp in pain, Ashe reeling back with cat-like reflexes. 

“So sorry!” The leader apologizes immediately. He notices Ashe’s moment of recovery and takes advantage of it to pick up the papers himself. “Here. Please, call me Dimitri. I want this house to be informal with honorifics so that we may be friendly with one another.” 

“Alright then,” Ashe nods, accepting his papers tentatively with a shy grin. The leader nods reassuringly before moving on to greet the next student. 

The silver-haired student huffs in relief when the blond finally turns away. He feels a shred of guilt for his incompetence around nobles, but honestly, he shouldn’t feel too bad. After all, that was the prince of his home country. How could anyone not be a nervous mess around the future king? He shrugs out more nerves and begins to arrange his desk space. 

― ― ― 

As class finally dies down, he settles into a book that he brought to class to quell the butterflies in his stomach. He’s only a few words in when he’s brought to reality once more. 

"Oh, man! Is that Loog and the Maiden of Wind?" A shrill voice snaps him out of his readings.

Ashe jolts upright, pulling on a friendly smile as he looks for the source of the voice. "Goddess, you scared me!" 

"My apologies. I just couldn't help notice you are, rather were, reading one of my favorite books." The girl's cheeks are flushed red but she offers a confident yet easygoing smile. However, Ashe can’t help but notice her fidgeting with the end of her golden braid. He’s drawn back to her fern green eyes when she speaks again. "Oh, I'm Ingrid. I sit over by Sylvain, that old flirt with messy ginger hair." 

"It's a pleasure meeting a fellow bookworm. I'm Ashe." He sets down his book to offer a free hand to Ingrid. 

She takes it firmly and they both giggle giddily. 

Despite Ashe’s initial plan to relax with nothing but his books for the rest of the day, Ingrid’s enthusiasm gets the better of him. When two people have a passion in common, conversation comes easy. He finds comfortable, lively conversation spilling out of him like a bucket he never knew was full. He can feel the same energy reflected in Ingrid’s speech. They’re talking until long after everyone else has said goodbyes. Finally, even the Professor tells them they ought to take their conversation to the dorms as students are settling to study. 

Ashe thumbs through his quaint library, looking for another book to show off. 

“Hey, have you visited the library here yet?”

He shakes his head. “Not yet. I heard it’s huge and has almost every book throughout the three countries.”

“Yeah, it really does!” Ingrid exclaims, lounging on Ashe’s bed.

“Don’t get too comfortable, it’s already nearly dinner time.” He teases gently before truly noticing the time. “Oh no! I oughta get to the kitchen, I’m late for cooking duty!”

“Oh dear, I’m sorry for distracting you!” 

“No, no, it’s not a problem. I’ll actually be a bit early, I just planned on being there sooner. Ah, I'm just happy to have met someone like you." He can feel a smile beaming on his face. “You made my day.”

The blonde reflects his expression flawlessly and nods her head. "And you made mine too." 

He's still grinning brighter than the sun as he dashes off to the dining hall. 

― ― ― 

As the days go on, Ashe finds himself easily adapting to the daily life at the monastery. There's only one recurring interruption to his routines that can throw off his energy. Azure eyes admiring his every move. 

"Ah, Your Highness…"

"Dimitri," the prince corrects.

"Yeah, you can take a step back. I know how to take care of a horse you know." 

A blush sprouts across Dimitri's face as he clears his throat and takes a step back. "Of course, my apologies."

"It's okay," Ashe shrugs. He tries to focus on brushing his steed despite hairs on the back of his neck reminding him that royalty was watching him. He swallows a lump in his throat before making a regrettable excuse. 

“I’m not feeling too good today, honestly,” the commoner claims. “This summer heatwave is really getting to me. Do you mind finishing up here?”

The prince nods. “Alright, go get some rest. You deserve it.”

Ashe gives an uneasy smile before slinking to go hide in his room. 

― ― ― 

Morning seminars are the worst. Well, not nearly as bad as walking the halls of the monastery at night. Perhaps inconvenient would be a better descriptor, but the point still stands.

Ashe rubs sleep out of his eyes and suppresses an exaggerated yawn as he sees Professor Byleth enter the classroom. He waves a tired greeting as they settle at their desk. Ashe is settling in his seat to prepare for a long, dull lecture when something suddenly taps at his shoulder and startles him. His green eyes are wide when he turns to see Prince Dimitri. 

"Ah! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. My, you look like you've just seen a ghost," The prince chuckles lightly. "I forgot to bring a pen, do you have one I could borrow?"

The silver-haired boy nods, handing him the pen he was using. He retrieves another from his bag and begins to take notes as Professor Byleth begins instruction. 

Around halfway through the lecture, the prince nudges his shoulder again. He flinches at the touch but tries not to appear as spooked this time. "What is it, your highness?"

"Dimitri. Just Dimitri, okay?" 

He offers an awkward laugh. 

"Why don't I treat you to lunch after this? Or a gift from town, perhaps?" Dimitri is tapping the borrowed pen on his paper.

"Just for letting me lend you a pen?" Ashe quirks a brow.

"No, no! I mean, well, yes. But also, just for being my friend." A flustered blush is seeping across the prince's cheeks. Ashe tries his best to focus on those lake blue eyes to no avail.

The younger boy disguises relaxing his shoulders with a shrug. "I see. I don't see a problem with it then." He smiles, nearly sighing relief when he doesn’t have to look at the prince anymore.

The lecture ends uneventfully with Professor Byleth eventually nodding off at their desk. Ashe is gathering his belongings and is ready to tear out of the hall when he feels a tug on his neck from his hoodie. He cries out before seeing it was the prince again. 

"Ashe, hold your horses! Let's go to the dining hall and get lunch, okay?" A bright smile lights up the prince's face and he swings an arm around Ashe's neck. 

The silver-haired boy slips out of the other’s hold and nods. “Right, sorry, I forgot.”

― ― ― 

Ashe feels blue eyes observing him once more as he picks nervously at his lunch. 

"Am I making you nervous?" 

"No, no. Ah, I'm sorry, I'm just― I'm not the best company for the crown prince, huh?" 

The prince scoffs and takes another mouthful of his own cheesy gratin. "You worry too much."

"Anyone would if they were invited to eat with real royalty." Ashe shrugs with a pout. His stomach growls and surprises both of them. At last, he attempts to eat some of his food. It tastes of nothing but bile from his nerves. This seriously sucks.

His dining partner nods solemnly. "I suppose."

They eat in awkward silence until the blond speaks up again. “How come you’re here at the academy?”

“Aspiring knight.”

“Oh? To serve under me?”

Ashe nods, feeling heat spread across his cheeks like butter. “I’d be honored if I could.”

“You will, I’m sure of it.” The prince smiles in a way that complements the encouragement in his voice. 

He barely nods again before finishing off his meal. “I’m gonna go back to my dorm now. I’ll see you around, my liege. Dimitri.”

― ― ― 

Ingrid really wasn’t lying when she said the library had every book in Fódlan. The prince was insistent on helping reach the higher shelves despite the ladders throughout the library. He also emphasized that he had homework he needed to do research in the library for, so Ashe reluctantly let him come along. It really wasn’t ideal to be seen with the future Prince of Fargeus practically begging to accompany a commoner, that’s the real reason the boy let the blond come. At least, that’s what he repeats to himself as he reads a new legend he found. 

Ashe dazedly turns the page of his book with his chin propped on his arm. Drowsiness hangs heavy on his eyes as he realizes he hasn’t caught a break since school began. 

The library is relatively quiet with only the occasional shuffling of studying students and visitors throughout. The infrequent squeak of a chair or table of people coming and going. Everyone is seemingly encapsulated in their own worlds.

Maybe it’s okay. Just a little nap in the library wouldn’t hurt, he thinks to himself. Ashe finally gives in to the sleepiness warming his body like a winter fireplace and leans into the warmth of his study partner. 

The prince startles when his classmate slumps into his body. His classmate’s sleeping body added just enough warmth to awaken his own exhaustion. He uselessly yawns as he scratches notes in his journal. Until he, too, gives in to taking a nap in the library. A contented smile graces his lips as he leans into the younger boy’s plush hoodie and sips in the fresh, minty scent. The warmth between them finally levels their statuses into two exhausted students.


	2. one heartbeat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> By order of Prince Dimitri, the boys of the Blue Lions House take a leisurely "fishing" trip to the lake.

Ashe is just about to scurry off to the greenhouse when his house leader waves him over. He clarifies he is the one being called over by pointing at himself before hurrying over. His nerves reduce to a low hum in his veins when he lays eyes on the warm expression of his classmate. The smaller boy nudges his way into the circle formed by the rest of his male classmates. 

The prince’s childish expression beams with excitement as he looks around at his friends. Dedue sits at a nearby desk, while Felix is leaning against it. Sylvain hovers between Felix and Dimitri. At last, he claps his hands together and begins to talk. 

"Good, everyone’s here! So, as you can tell, summer is at its peak. I want to go to Lake Teutates with all of you, my friends." Even before Dimitri finishes speaking, he’s already watching Ashe with those piercing blue eyes. 

Felix’s expression immediately turns sour. 

“This is really my last year of freedom before I assume my duties as king, and we all go our separate ways,” he adds with a pleading look. 

Ashe, on the other hand, grins widely at the mention of swimming. "I'd love to, your highn― Dimitri!" 

Sylvain pumps his arm in the air and slings it around Felix's shoulder. "Now that’s a way to spend your last year: slacking off!” He flashes a wink at the prince and smiles. “I’m all in, of course. It'll be good to get out and rock this bod. Don't be a downer Fe, you have to come too." 

"Why? I don't like swimming, or fishing, or hanging out with any of you." Felix struggles to shove Sylvain off him, but eventually gives up and lets Sylvain hang on him. He instead focuses his energy to glare at Dimitri. “Especially the boar.”

Felix has been a harsh character since Ashe met him. Sniping and snapping whenever the student had a chance. He didn’t mind it, usually. But this one he minded. The hair on the back of his neck bristles and he rubs it back down, slipping an angry look to his classmate who paid no attention. 

"Come on, please?" The ginger pleads, with brown eyes shiny and glittering with puppy-like charm. 

"No way, no how," he puffs with crossed arms. The way his chin tips up in the air makes him look like a pouting child, which Ashe finds mildly amusing. 

Dimitri taps a finger to his lips before a sly smile creeps onto his face. "What if I made it an order in the name of the future king?" 

"Then I suppose I'd have to go," Felix grumbled, rolling his eyes. 

"Great! It's a date," Sylvain cheers. He gives a shake of Felix’s shoulder before shrugging off of Felix and taking his bag to prepare to leave. 

Ashe begins to turn to gather his things and leave as well before noticing a small upturn at the edge of Felix's frown. Was that a smile? There was a wind of some rumor that Felix is cat-like. Maybe it extends to mean Felix is conservative in his publicized affections. But what was that nasty nickname for the prince earlier? That was too harshly stated to be simple banter. Well, whatever. Ashe is more than looking forward to this swimming hangout. 

― ― ― 

From the monastery, the lake was deep east in Kingdom territory. The trek to the lake was long and took a whole day, even by horse. Finally, Ashe could hear the gentle lap of waves on the shoreline when they paused for water breaks. His horse was beginning to get antsy as well, feeding off of his riled up energy. 

When they reach the lake, Felix nearly falls right off his horse. His legs are sore and weak like jelly from riding so long. Ashe can’t help but laugh at his misfortune even though Felix’s eyes are as sharp as bronze. After his laughter wanes, he turns to Dedue to ask what he can do to help set up camp.

"You're free to swim, I can take care of preparing the fire." Dedue splits another log, tossing it towards a circle of rocks Sylvain was lugging over. 

"Alright!" Ashe cheers with a nod. He wastes no time worming out of his clothes and throwing off his boots. Eventually, in only a simple loincloth, he goes dashing toward the dock.

His enthusiasm brings a bright smile to everyone's faces. The boy's energy is so contagious that practically everyone is captivated by his spirit. 

Ashe whoops as he takes a running leap off the dock. However, his launch is horribly disgraceful and he yelps as he sticks a belly flop into the cold water. He flails back to the surface, shaking water and hair out of his face like a dog, beaming. already numb to the sting on his tummy, and splashes water around himself. 

"We should've made this trip sooner. I didn't know you loved swimming so much,” Dimitri muses, propping up their fishing poles and nets against a tree. 

"Whoo! It's chilly!" Sylvain joins him, wading in from the shore. 

Ashe shrugs, swimming to where he can stand.

"Come here, Fe! Cool off that hot head of yours for a bit," Sylvain hollers with a spray of water in Felix's direction. He cups water in his hands and shoots it at Ashe when the boy comes in range. 

He squeals and makes a poor attempt to splash back. His attack was far too low, causing the wave to sink back into the water pitifully. 

"Aren't you the one who needs a cold bath?" Felix bites back, arranging the firewood Dedue prepared. 

"Felix!" Dimitri snaps, looking up at his friend in shock. 

"What?" 

"Isn't that.. Wasn't that a bit blunt?" The prince grimaces, wandering over to Dedue to continue setting up a camp. 

"Have you met Felix?" Sylvain shrugs, smiling with a carelessness that makes Ashe cringe a little. Sometimes it feels a little uncanny how little the ginger appears to care about anything at all. 

He’s snapped out of his fretting when Sylvain appears next to him. He gives an uneasy smile before shrieking as the senior scoops his lithe body like a flour sack. 

“Sylvain! What are you―” Ashe doesn’t get the rest of his question out before he’s hurled into deeper water. He claws back to the surface, spluttering water and giggles. 

“I’m gonna get you back!”

“Oh I’m sure you will, little boy,” Sylvain smiles, wading back to the shore to dry off. 

― ― ― 

"Bath time for kitty kitty!" 

Felix screeches as Sylvain scoops him off the dock and dunking him into the freezing lake water. He resurfaces and spits up water along with a slew of curses at the culprit as the rest of them are laughing half to death.   
Sylvain joins his friend a few moments after, letting Felix ruthlessly splash him with the icy water. 

Ashe chuckles from afar, pursing his lips to keep from chattering. Watching the two wrestle is like watching the newborn kitten try to take down a mastiff sized dog. The older ginger swats the black-haired boy underwater, just for a spell, all while cackling. Though Felix never calms down, a childish laugh does manage to slip through his commitment to seriousness.

Dedue sits lax on the edge of the dock, watching Sylvain and Felix tussle. He leisurely kicks his feet in the cold water and sends a low whistle that travels across the lake. For the first time since Ashe has met him, the class retainer seems comfortable and at ease. 

Dimitri waves to catch Ashe's attention and points towards Dedue. He holds a finger to his lips as he tries to sneak up on his friend. The prince's footfalls are louder than a wyvern’s roar as he pelts across the dock to tackle his target.

Dedue hears him from a mile away, and ducks aside at the last minute to send Dimitri flying into the water himself. A thundering laugh erupts from his chest and he cannonballs into the water after the leader. 

Ashe is knocked off his feet by the mighty wave created in Dedue's wake. He flails for steady footing again before bumping into another body. He wipes water out of his eyes and plants his feet in the sand to see he was sent washing into Dimitri. 

The blond cartoonishly spits water towards Ashe and they share a chuckle. The prince grins innocently and brushes his locks out of his face. 

The boys' hoots and hollers echo through the forest. They're aware they've scared off the fish by now but it doesn't matter. They're having fun, and life can't be all work. 

― ― ― 

In due time, the chill of the waters has reached everyone's bones and they are forced to retire to the fire to warm up and dry off. 

“You know you idiots all scared the fish away,” Felix quips, pulling his hair out of a bun to dry it properly. It falls just past his shoulders. 

“Wow, Felix. Your hair is longer than I thought,” Ashe breathes. “And to be fair, I think you were screaming the most.”

The black-haired boy gapes in offense and points a finger at Sylvain. “It’s his fault for trying to drown me!” he argues. 

The guilty ginger laughs and feigns embarrassment as he throws around apologies. Ashe knows the senior doesn’t regret a single thing though. 

“Dedue!” Dimitri whines and Ashe whips around to see the prince smothered by his advisor with a towel.

“Your Highness, you’ll catch a cold with wet hair like that,” Dedue chastises, clucking his tongue like a concerned mother. 

Dimitri's stature is replaced with that of a child, one who gets annoyed whenever his caretaker makes a fuss over him. This suddenly makes Dimitri seem just like Ashe, so much more human. 

Ashe hums, rubbing his own hair dry and suddenly visualizing a Dimitri with hair long enough to braid. How would it feel in his hands? Silky soft, like gold thread, and smooth as a river. Would it get wavy after sleeping in braids? He shakes the thoughts from his head as he throws water from his hair. He shouldn’t even put such thoughts in his head. 

― ― ― 

Once they’re warmed, most of the boys wade back into the water to fish. Ashe wasn’t quite warm enough and ended up staying by the shore with Dedue to care for the fire. He’s wrapped in his dampened towel, watching the others fish without him with a longingness in his heart. He could go join them from the dock. But he was just a little too cold. The sun was beginning to set, and the night chill was beginning to creep over his skin. He yawns, exiting his thoughts to notice Dimitri’s fishing pole was quivering. 

"Your High― Dimitri? You might have a fish!” He hollers, before seeing that the prince’s knuckles are practically glowing white. “Wait, you're trembling. You should get out of the water and dry off." He calls across the water, waving over to his seat on a log. He chucks some more sticks on it to kick up the heat. 

Dimitri takes a towel from nearby and wraps himself in it. His shivering finally quells as the warmth from the fire seeps into his body. "Thank you."

"No problem, can't have the future king die of a mere cold. Especially from a kingdom that's almost frozen over most of the year," Ashe muses.   
Dimitri cracks a smile, but Ashe can see some part of the other’s spirit sink in his eyes. 

The silver-haired boy spontaneously decides to swing his arms around Dimitri's shoulders and hold him close to warm him. He giggles a bit when Dimitri startles, narrowly missing hitting his head on Ashe’s jaw. 

The blond leans back onto Ashe and lets out a shaky sigh. "Yeah."

The two of them amuse themselves by watching Sylvain and Dedue teach Felix to fish. The spirited dark-haired boy is far too impatient to fish. At the slightest tug, Felix tears in his line to pull up nothing but reeds and an empty hook. He huffs and hands off his pole to Sylvain to bait it. 

Sylvain is surprisingly a good fisherman. When inquired about his skill, he boasts: "It's because I'm good at reeling in the ladies, too!" Everyone rolls their eyes and Felix jabs him in the ribs. The ginger actually grunts from the impact, resulting in a bemused chuckle from Dimitri, and a quiet apology from the assailant. 

The blonde's chuckle is low and reverberates into Ashe's chest. It blooms a soft warmth between them and Ashe leans more into Dimitri. He startles out of a relaxed daze when Dimitri hangs his head back onto the younger's shoulder. 

"Hey, did you have fun today?" 

Hearing the prince's voice so close to his ear revives the butterflies in his stomach. 

They catch in his throat when he chokes out an affirmative reply. 

The other laughs teasingly. "Yeah, I did too."

― ― ― 

Once enough fish have been caught for a hearty enough dinner, Felix and Sylvain also head back to shore to prep the fish. Sylvain kicks logs onto the campfire, sending sparks swirling into the air. 

When the fire roars as lively as a lion, Ashe pulls Dimitri close, as if to protect him from the excited embers. 

"Goddess, Sylvain! Be careful!" Felix chides. He expertly wields his filet knife, hardly needing to glance as he works. 

"Hey, take it easy. I got this. It's no different from dealing with you, y'know." Sylvain rattles off, poking the fire and rearranging the coals. 

Dedue clicks his tongue as Sylvain narrowly dodges a fish carcass thrown at him. He tosses the bones into the fire, watching them cremate in the flames. 

"My point is proven," the ginger shrugs and stomps out an escaped spark. 

"Felix, that's disgusting!" Dimitri scolds. 

"You're next." Felix dangles the bones of a fish menacingly. He scoffs at the reactions of his friends before tossing it aside, thankfully away from them.

The blonde shudders at the thought. 

Ashe laughs, watching their dynamics play out. Supposedly, Felix, Dimitri, and Sylvain have known each other since childhood, that’s why they put up with each other. He looks over at Dedue, who is unpacking some of the pots and ingredients they brought from the monastery. He sits up, letting go of Dimitri to wander to Dedue. Dimitri pouts a bit, but reluctantly lets Ashe go. 

“Here, let me help,” Ashe offers, taking some utensils out of Dedue’s hand to put them at a makeshift eating area. “My parents used to run a restaurant and I used to help out a lot. I can help do some cooking, if you’d like.” 

“I see. That would be appreciated,” Dedue says flatly, but his eyes read a reassuring smile. 

Despite the lack of talkativeness from Dedue, the two of them work almost completely synchronous. Even Felix, who’s said to be a fussy eater, pipes in that whatever the two were doing smells good. 

“Let’s eat!” Ashe announces, handing everyone a plate. “Dedue mostly made it―”

“That’s not true, you helped me a lot, too,” Dedue interjects. 

Ashe huffs and continues, “Okay, okay. We made you guys this sweet and salty whitefish saute, using ingredients we found on the trek here, and stuff we brought from the monastery. I hope you all enjoy it!” 

As soon as Ashe finishes talking, everyone wastes no time digging in. Ashe watches happily as everyone but Dimitri’s spirits are revitalized by the meal. Dimitri seems as if he’s going through the motions of eating. The prince glances at everyone else’s energy, before seeing Ashe’s dispirited look.

“Sorry Ashe, ever since an accident I had as a child, I just haven’t been able to taste. I’m sure this is delicious, it looks like it, and it’s nothing against you or Dedue. I just can’t taste most things,” Dimitri shrugs sadly. 

“The foolish pig can only taste cheese,” Felix chuckled. “This is actually really good, by the way, Ashe. Thank you, both of you.” 

Ashe beams, feeling a little better after the consolation. “No problem, thank you for coming on this trip. Thank you all. And thank you, Dimitri, for inviting us all.”

“It’s nothing, really, thank you all for coming.” Dimitri blushes, patting Ashe and Felix on the shoulder. He smiles warmly and lets everyone get back to finishing their meals. 

Good food and good conversation fill their minds and stomachs as the fire roars between them. Everyone is content, and ready for the challenges that await them. Or so they believe.


	3. ghost in plain sight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything happens all at once and Ashe can't catch a breath. Dimitri asks Ashe to be his boyfriend, Lord Lonato rebels against the Church of Seiros, and Ashe discovers the Church is why his older adoptive brother was killed and his adoptive father went crazy. He makes a miserable attempt to shoulder all his own burdens even if it worries everyone around him too. He doesn't know how much more weight he can carry by himself.

"Your assignment this month is to assist in the dispersion of a rebellion of the Western Church, led by Lord Lonato,” Byleth announces to the class. Their face uncannily seems to express indifference, despite the common knowledge that dispersion of the rebellion meant justified slaughter. 

Ashe doesn't hear the rest of the announcement as his ears are ringing at the mention of his adopted father's name. Tears cross his vision and his breath hitches. His sight focuses so intensely on his textbook that it blurs. 

Byleth pauses their lecture with a confused look in Ashe's direction. They attempt to ask what's wrong, or at least Ashe thinks they do, with a worrisome expression. He can't quite comprehend anything with the pounding in his head. 

Despite his most valiant efforts, tears are able to escape and bleed onto his notes. Ashe crumbles over his desk with thoughts already crowding out rationality.

Why? Why would Lord Lonato do that? Was his second father going to die? What would happen to his siblings after that? Would his friends have to kill his own father in order to prevent more chaos? Is this what battle was going to be like? Will he be okay facing more familiar faces in battles to come? Between life and death, he would surely have to― 

A steady hand grabs his shoulder and yanks him out of his spiraling thoughts. The hand shakes his shoulder gently, and he looks up with bleary eyes to see Felix.

"Ashe. Ashe, are you okay?" 

He blinks away more tears and swipes his hand across his cheeks. He composes himself with a harsh sniffle and nods silently. His chest aches, still hurt from keeping screaming sobs silent, and his throat hurts like hell. 

Felix's gaze lingers with a sympathetic expression. He pats Ashe on the back reassuringly before returning to his seat. 

― ― ― 

"Ashe? Snap out of it, we’re training here." 

Ashe feels an immediate surge of hot blood to his cheeks. "Huh? Oh, I’m sorry, your highness." 

“You know, having your head in the clouds is going to get you killed on the battlefield,” the prince scolds, shaking his lance pointedly. “You need to focus on this month's mission, even if you know it’s going to be hard.”

A pang jabs Ashe in the heart and his spirit sinks even lower. “I know, I’m sorry. Maybe I’m just not cut out for being a knight.”

“That’s not true, you just need to focus,” Dimitri reiterates.

“It’s―” he pauses with a sigh. “It’s not that simple.” 

Ashe’s lips are pressed into a line, he feels a twist in his chest as if he’s about to sob again. No, he’s done enough crying since the mission announcement. Crying isn’t going to change any fates, the most he can do is train so that he’s just enough better than his enemies that he won’t be the one dying. He ends up feeling even sicker thinking about everything like that. 

“Ashe!” Dimitri snaps again. 

“Sorry,” he mumbles again, taking a ready stance to spar with his partner again. “Let’s start.”

― ― ― 

Ashe yelps when the blunt wooden lance jabs his ribs. The pain swells immediately across his stomach and he grits his teeth from the pain. He chokes out a grunt as Dimitri immediately throws his lance down to rush over.

"Ashe! Oh Goddess, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to… I'm so so sorry. Oh Goddess."   
Dimitri is too absorbed in his own meltdown of apologies to be of any assistance. With every apology tumbling from his partner's lips, the throbbing in Ashe's head grows worse. The taste of bile from lingering nausea bubbles back to his throat. He can't bear to hear another sorry from the other's mouth, but if he were to open his, Ashe would surely vomit. 

Thank the Goddess, Mercedes was there to intervene. She gently gestures the blonde to step aside to let her examine the damage. "Let me see, dear." 

Ashe nods, swallowing sick feelings as he undresses to reveal a blooming red swelling across his lower ribs. 

"Oh, dear. That was quite the hit."

"Again I'm really sorry, Ashe. I didn't―" 

"That's enough," Ashe suddenly bites out. He isn't sure where it came from but he regrets it immediately. He's about to mutter an apology when Mercedes touches the wound, causing him to cry out.

"Goodness, you may very well have a fractured rib. Maybe two."

Dimitri stares at the injury with a look so sympathetic Ashe kind of wants to smack it off. Instead, Ashe narrows his eyes in hopes Dimitri will put more space between them. 

"Hey, let's go to the infirmary, okay? Dimitri?"

"On it!" The blond rushes forward to brace Ashe.

"It's fine." Ashe pushes away from Dimitri.

"What?"

"It's fine, I can walk by myself." Ashe heaves to his feet, wincing as pain sears across his side. 

"I insist, Ashe. I'll carry―" Dimitri pleads, reaching forward again.

"It's. Fine." He mumbles, averting his eyes from the blonde’s pleading blue eyes. Despite his snap, he hears the leader hovering over him as he limps to the infirmary. 

― ― ― 

Ashe emerges from the infirmary to find Dimitri pacing the hallway in front of the doorway. Despite being healed, he was told to give himself a week before returning to training, just in case. He gives a warm, but tired, smile to Dimitri, who lights up upon seeing the other student. 

“Ashe! You’re okay, thank the Goddess,” he sighs with relief. 

“It was just a little scrape, I only had one broken rib but it’s okay now. I just can't train for the rest of the week,” the younger boy explains, beginning to walk down the hall to go back downstairs. 

Dimitri nods, shoulders sagging as he finally relaxes them. They walk together in awkward silence until they reach one of the monastery’s sectional gardens. Dimitri darts in front of Ashe, stopping the boy in his tracks.

“What?” He wasn’t filled with fire anymore, just heavy ash and soot.

"Ashe, I want… I want to know you. Like, more than just a classmate and friend." 

Those words send embers flying back up into his cheeks and he freezes in place. Dimitri shifts his weight between his feet, waiting for an answer. 

"I―" His voice cracks sharply and he squeaks in surprise, drawing a giggle from Dimitri. He takes in a steady, deep breath before nodding. "I’d be honored…" 

Dimitri grins, azure blue eyes shining with hope and happiness. He stands around, shivering with nerves until Ashe opens his arms to offer a stiff embrace. After a moment, they part their ways for the evening. 

― ― ― 

Ashe loves chivalry, but this doesn't feel like anything he would've imagined. It’s notably scarier and more awkward. Well, love, in general, is scary, but he never expected anything like this. How could he ever be worthy of the prince's love? Could he ever reciprocate a love worthy for the prince?

He always dreamed of being by His Highness’s side as a knight, sworn protector of the future King of Faergus. Even now, it seems more like fantasy than reality; something he would daydream while reading a book. He never considered being by the prince’s side as a partner. If he marries Dimitri, will he end up being king too? 

Ashe shakes his head, he knows he’s just getting ahead of himself now. There’s no way he would end up marrying Dimitri. But part of him can and will always dream. 

He flops back on his bed, staring at the wood planks on the ceiling. A heavy sigh escapes him and he feels a weight dropping on him all at once. 

He feels his heart rend. An ache fills his body, boring a hole even larger than the one Lonato’s death will surely leave behind. He wants to love the prince, he knows that more than anyone will truly fathom. He wants that more than anything in the world. But it’s terrifyingly intimidating to love someone you know you’ll never be able to have. He knows better than anyone that this gig won’t be forever. 

It’s too much to think about right now, Ashe decides. For now, he should just enjoy the moments they will share before they part. They only have a little under a year, after all. He rolls over, sinking into a book before lulling to a worrisome sleep.

― ― ― 

Why can't he bring himself to be around Dimitri anymore? Why does his heart pound whenever he sees a shade of blue? Even gazing upon a clear sky causes him to think of the prince. 

He finds comfort dully thumbing through textbooks with Annette in the library. Sometimes Mercedes is there too, or even Sylvain. Sylvain is surprisingly sharp with academics and catches everyone off guard.

"You forgot to take this line into account." 

Ashe nods along. "Oh, I see. You know, I wouldn't take you for a teacher's pet." 

"’Cause I don't let anyone think that," he laughs lightly. It sounds like, for once, he means it. Maybe that’s why Sylvain seems to act so carefreely, to keep up this deceitful image of himself. 

Annette whines beside them, scribbling notes and answers on her paper. "Yeah, he thinks it's better to play dumb so that he will trip us all up when the time comes for him to shine." 

Sylvain snickers. "Yeah, right." He slumps down in the seat next to Ashe, resting his chin on his hands. 

"So your foolishness is a mask?"

"Nah, that's really me. But not paying attention in class and stuff is just bluff."

He nods, scrawling down another answer, wondering if any of Sylvain’s statements are true. "Don't you have some homework to be doing, too? It’s due tomorrow." 

"Nah. Well, it's none of your business when I get around to it."

Annette grins. "Is the procrastinator the real you, too?" 

He scoffs. "I can do it whenever I want, I just don't feel like it right now."

Ashe laughs at that, continuing to work out the rest of his homework. 

― ― ― 

Ashe can barely keep his head up. Every night is filled with terrors of the battlefield. Anxieties that grip him so tightly and haunt him in his most vivid nightmares. He finds escape in staying awake, riding out the long nights on so much coffee he could puke. 

Expectedly, his whole body finally gives out and he passes out cold on a library table. Ashe opens his eyes to a dreamscape of nothingness. Scanning frantically around him, he finally relaxes his shoulders as he sees nothing but an abyss around him. He hugs his knees to his chest and keeps watchful eyes on the horizon. Nothing comes rising over it. He rests easy. 

He wakes groggily to an aching feeling eating away his stomach. His hood is heavy on his head and there's an extra weight on his back. A striking royal blue shocks his vision as he notices it's Dimitri's cape. He shoots upright to see Dimitri studying peacefully next to him. 

"Good morning, sunshine," he coos. 

"Morning... moonlight." 

"Oh?" 

"You started the nickname thing." 

"No no! I don't mean it like it's bad, it's cute. You're cute."

It's too hot to keep his hood on. This cape feels suffocating. Would it be rude to take it off so quickly? He just woke up. Shouldn't he bask in the warmth for just a bit longer? But Goddess, it's so hot right now. 

― ― ― 

Ashe mindlessly chops vegetables. The noise of the kitchen is grounding to him and gives him a sense of home in the chaos.

Dedue skillfully tosses food in searing hot pans. The fire surrounds the man in a warm glow, highlighting his intense prussian blue eyes. A sheen of sweat covers his forehead and his hand darts up to wipe it away.

"Thanks for letting me help." 

"Thank you for offering to help." Pans clatter on the stove, filling what would’ve been an uneasy silence. "You are awfully busy lately."

Ashe chuckles with a detached shrug. "Not really." 

"I would have to disagree."

The boy perks up. "I should've expected you to catch on," a nervous laugh raises tension in Ashe's chest. "The quiet ones are always watching after all." 

Dedue grunts in affirmation, pulling a pan off the stove and setting it aside. "This one's ready to plate."

Ashe shifts his attention to plating the meal and setting it out for someone to take. 

They work without further conversation until dinner has been finished. 

When they finally settle down to share the meal they cooked, Ashe’s burnout has long caught up with him. He feels heavily guilty as he stares down and picks at his meal, too tired to even eat. 

“No good? I can make you something myself, if you’d like.” Dedue notices quicker than Ashe expected. Then again, he doesn’t quite know what he expects anymore. 

“No, no. It’s okay, I’m just exhausted.”

“What’s wrong?”

Ashe takes a mouthful of his food, chewing in a debate of whether to admit his troubles or not. Dedue doesn’t seem to be a snoopy character like, say, Ingrid, he definitely seems more sincere. After swallowing, he decides to admit his concerns, “Do you find Dimitri hard to be around sometimes?” 

Dedue simply shakes his head. “It is my duty to be around him a lot, I’ve grown accustomed to it.”

“Not even in the beginning?”

The older student shrugs with a mouthful of food. “Every relationship has its troubles in the beginning. My relationship with Dimitri in the beginning was no different.”

Ashe sighs, somewhat defeated. Dedue was being just cryptic enough that he really wasn’t getting much out of this. He decides to just finish the rest of his meal in silence, before cleaning up both their plates and taking his leave.


	4. every little thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashe is exhausted, to say the least. He can't sleep peacefully anymore as he continues to grieve his adopted father's death. He ends up venting and airing his frustrations with his friends.

“Hey, Ashe, can I talk to you for a second?” Annette pipes up, right after Byleth dismisses the class. She hovers eagerly over his space, wearing the most unreadable expression. It’s a weird mix between concern and pep. 

Ashe nods slowly with a perked brow out of curiosity. “Sure?”

She beckons him to the courtyard outside of the classroom and gestures him to sit in a patch of grass. The crowds leaving class around them melt away into white noise. The sun hangs high in the sky, warming the winter afternoon. 

Annette twirls a pencil in her hand, fidgeting with ever-present nerves. She takes a quick breath before beginning to talk. “Lord Lonato, he was your adoptive father, wasn’t he?

Ashe nods solemnly, cries catching in his throat. “Yeah, he was.”

“I guess,” she pauses, pondering the right words to say. “I can’t fully relate to losing a loved one to death, but I kind of get what it’s like losing a father.”

He lifts his eyes to meet her bright blue eyes. Her orchid blue eyes tug at his heartstrings, but he pushes the anxious feelings aside. It’s only Annette, not the prince. 

“My dad, he left me and my mom when I was young. I wasn’t quite old enough to remember it but it impacted the rest of my life.” She continues, still spinning her pencil between her fingers. “I’m sure losing both of your parents has been hard on you too. Especially since you’re older now.” Her eyes reflect an expression that says ‘it’s not fair’. 

Ashe knows nothing’s fair, he knows that better than anyone. He knew it when he lost both his parents to the plague that swept the country. He knew it when he was slapped on the wrist for stealing just to get by. He knew it when guilty feelings roiled in his stomach when he got away with it. He thought he found peace with it, until Lord Lonato’s rebellion. It wasn’t fair that his class just happened to be assigned with dispersion. 

“Hey, Ashe,” Annette sets her pencil aside to open her arms. 

He practically falls into her, pulling her as close as he could. He buries his face into her shoulder, clinging to her as if they were about to be torn apart.

Annette pays no mind, holding him back just as tight. She rocks him gently, humming a soft tune until he recollects himself. When Ashe pulls back, he notices that she was crying a bit too. 

“Are you okay?” 

She wipes her face with a handkerchief in her pocket, before handing him one too. “I’m alright, just a bit over empathetic is all. I’m so sorry you’re going through all this so quickly. But hey, we’ve just got to live on until we don’t. Okay?”

He nods, sniffling. “Okay.”

― ― ― 

Ashe sits on the floor next to Dimitri’s bed, finding new cuts and nicks on his fingers. They were done studying. They have been done studying for a while. He just didn’t feel right leaving as soon as they were done, but staying didn’t feel right either. He’s pulled out of his worrying thoughts when the prince speaks out in the ringing silence.

“What’s wrong?”

Ashe’s breath catches in his throat and he only imagines looking up to meet royal blue eyes. He sighs heavily. "I don't know...what to do.”

“Elaborate,” Dimitri commands. 

“I don’t know how to be a good partner for you… Can I ask? What do you want from me?" Ashe admits, eyes glued to bleeding fingertips from his training and nervous picking. 

"I want... I want you to look me in the eyes. Just once. Please,” he pleads softly. 

Dimitri's eyes are as dark as lapis. His gaze is misty and filled with mystery, like a foggy forest. It’s a look Ashe could get lost in if he stares too long. They flutter shut as he leans in, pressing his lips to Ashe's. 

He tastes...vaguely salty. Almost like tears. 

Ashe closes his eyes to sink into the moment. He wishes the tearful taste lingering on his tongue didn't make him feel so much sadder. His hands drift absently to the nape of Dimitri's neck, pressing the tips of his fingers to the taper of his golden hair. 

In the end, Dimitri is the one to pull away with cheeks red. With the barest whisper, he utters: “I love you.” 

Ashe’s cheeks immediately turn redder than a battlefield at the words, and all he can reply with is a nod. Guilt coils in his stomach, so much that he pulls farther away from Dimitri.

Dimitri notices and sits up. “Heading back? I can walk you.”

“No, it’s okay.”

“I insist,” he prods. 

“Okay,” Ashe sighs, defeated. 

――― 

Training with Felix was a mistake. Not just because of the skill difference, but because of the ridicule over dating Dimitri. Finally, he snaps. 

The lance quivers in Ashe's grip and he forces out a single word through clenched teeth. "Stop." 

"Stop what?" Felix saunters curiously in the younger student's direction. He carelessly waves his sword around himself.

"Stop calling His Highness a boar." Each word is spoken in a fit of spitting anger yet to have been fully revealed in the boy. 

Felix jabs forward, further provoking the tension humming in the air. "You haven't seen him the way I have." He lectures this with the weight of years of history and proof behind it.

"Stop assuming you know everything!" He screams as he charges forward. He slashes his lance through the air haphazardly. "Stop assuming you understand how I feel!"

Felix recoils from the sudden power showing itself in Ashe. He dips and dodges with his slender body to escape the spontaneity of his partner's swings. 

Ashe swears he relishes in the way the other student grits his teeth as if challenged for once. However, his frenzy is put to a stop with one well-aimed swipe. In a single smack, the silver haired's lance is tossed out of his hands like a twig. He yelps in alarm and stumbles over his own feet, rolling onto the ground.

Felix reacts immediately, pouncing on Ashe and taps the tip of his sword to Ashe’s chin. 

A terse silence drops between them like a curtain after a play. 

Felix blows out a low, slow breath. He drops his sword to his side and rolls off Ashe, uttering simply, “I’m sorry.”

“Have you ever considered I’ve seen him in ways you haven’t?” Ashe bites, pushing himself off the ground and staggering after Felix. “I’ve seen a prince so innocent, I believe I’m looking at a puppy. The kindest, most honest boy I’ve ever known. A boy who’s so sweet it makes me feel sick. Do you call him a boar too?”

Felix stops in his tracks, pondering the words. He seems sorrowful when he speaks again, resentment clouding his copper eyes. “He has another face. The look of a wild hog running loose, tearing through any obstacle with ease. An undisciplined, feral pig bringing nothing but chaos and hell. His Highness cannot be trusted! Once you witness that side of him yourself, you’ll know why I tell you to keep your distance.  
You’ll never forget it, and you’ll never see him the same way.”

“And how can you assume this judgment with such confidence?”

“Because I’m a witness to both sides. I just― I know. But hey, if you don’t trust my word, you’re welcome to find out these things on your own.” With that, Felix turns tail and storms out of the training grounds.

― ― ― 

“I saw you hanging out with Dedue the other day,” Ingrid accuses Ashe as if she caught him stealing precious royal artifacts. Her brilliant green eyes, normally warm as a field, are as cold as jade. 

Ashe is taken aback by her tone and sets down his teacup carefully. “And…?”

“Don’t you know _what_ he is? He’s just a _weapon_ in the shape of someone like us.”

“Like us? You mean he’s _human_. Unlike you,” he admonished. 

The blonde scoffs with a gaping mouth. “Unlike _me_? He doesn’t feel anything! He’s a― he’s an axe! Without feelings, and unpredictable!”

“He has more feelings than an axe,” He scoffs, deciding to play along with her analogy. “I’d say he’s a bow. Steadfast and powerful, with more loyalty than you’ll ever know.”

“What?” Ingrid blurts, eyes wide with confusion and shock. “We’re not comparing him to weapons, he is a weapon. End of story.” 

“Look, I don’t have the energy for this, Ingrid,” Ashe huffs. He sips his tea leisurely. “I have enough to deal with, and I don’t care who I hang out with, or if you approve or not. We’re old enough to be over this, don’t you think?”

She grumbles something Ashe doesn’t pay attention to. He finishes off his tea quickly, stands up, and utters a curt goodbye before retreating to his dorm.


	5. after rain haze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wind picks up as the sky darkens until the storm can't be ignored any longer. Yet against all the signs, Ashe and Dimitri are both scurrying for more time. But Ashe is no good at math, and Dimitri is no good at reading.  
> At least, when the storm clears, the sun returns.

Ashe and Dimitri stand across from each other in front of the fishing pond. Opposite sides across a divide that wasn’t meant to be bridged in this universe.

Dimitri takes a shaking breath, one meant for admitting something that he doesn’t want to. "I don't think this is really working out, Ashe..." 

His cheeks are flushed around Dimitri, they always are. Bright green gaze fixated on an ant crawling across the cobble. Ashe nods in silent agreement with Dimitri. He can't bear to meet the boy's gaze and instead chooses to watch a broken reflection in the pond. 

"I'm sorry." They both blurt at the same time, bowing forward.

Ashe snaps back up at Dimitri's apology. "Why…? Why are you sorry?" 

"I'm sorry I… I'm sorry you could never be comfortable around me. I'm sorry for forcing you to be in a relationship with me." 

Ashe’s tender heart twists, bringing stinging tears to his eyes. He sucks in a deep breath to compose himself and makes a silent wish that things could be different. His lips part to refute the explanation but Dimitri cuts him off before he can speak.

"Don't lie to make me feel better. You're not good at lying, anyway." Dimitri's voice comes out as a hoarse rasp, and he turns away. The bitter truth pulls the tears from Ashe’s eyes. 

A trailing blue cape rounding a corner is all Ashe catches when he finally raises his eyes again. A shuddering sigh makes him realize his stature was completely rigid. He crumbles to the ground, knees falling to the cobble as more melancholic tears pool down his cheeks. 

His eyes wander the scenery to settle on the setting sun. Ashe swipes the sleeve of his uniform against his face and shakily rises to his feet to drag himself to the cathedral. 

― ― ― 

The morning after is dreary and cold. Mist hangs heavy in the air, unmoving even with a biting breeze thrashing through the monastery. Most students were huddled indoors, studying by the infinite fires lit in the classrooms, or gathered in other various places on the grounds. 

Ashe would've been most students, huddled in his own room with a heartwarming book. However, the tides of change have caught him changing his habits. 

He sits wordlessly outside the magnificent cathedral itself. He’s already prayed more than anyone in the past few months, maybe even more than Marianne. Even with his hoodie pulled tight over his head, the cold slips under his uniform and chills him colder than the lake waters. Eventually, he tires of torturing himself by sitting in the elements and turns to return to his dorm.

His steps are heavy and slow as he trods back to his room. He grimaces as he begins to lose feeling in his extremities. By the time he reaches his room, he fumbles with the key in his completely numb fingers. 

Finally, he finds himself spitting curses at the door as he clutches the key in his senseless fingers. He makes enough noise that students peep out of their dorms to see him. All but one of them does it inconspicuously. 

Dedue swings his door wide open, nearly hitting Ashe in the process. He scans the area before finding the cowering boy just out of range. 

“Oh, Ashe,” Dedue states, flatly.

The boy chatters in response, waving a shy greeting and rubbing his arms. 

“Come inside,” he orders, leaving Ashe no room for argument.

― ― ― 

Ashe used to be relatively intimidated by Dedue. Anyone in a rational mind should be. Dedue is quiet because his presence speaks for him. His large stature looms at a deafening degree, and his gaze pierces any it falls on. Ashe always figured the man is so observant due to his protectiveness of the prince. It wasn’t truly until now that he realized Dedue was just a watchful, yet compassionate person. 

“Careful.” 

The clink of a teacup brings Ashe back to reality. He accepts the tea with gratitude, wrapping his cold hands around the hot ceramic. 

“Thank you, Dedue.”

“It is no problem.”

For once, the silence resting between the two of them is comfortable. 

“I was thinking,” Dedue starts. “I don’t personally find Dimitri to be tiresome to be around, disregarding the fact I must be by his side much of the time.”

And? Ashe almost says, but he can’t find the energy to even talk. 

Dedue looks at him and nods knowledgeably before continuing. “But I can see how he can be tedious to be around, when it’s you. He fawned over you excessively, to say the least. That would drain anyone to exhaustion.”

Ashe nods along, swirling debris in the bottom of his cup. 

“It wasn’t your fault that you didn’t love him enough. It was that he loved you a bit too much.”

Everything falls into place and brings stinging tears prickling at his eyes again. Right. Dimitri’s presence was overbearing to him even without the constant hovering and fawning. 

Dedue reaches out his hand, offering it to the younger student. 

Ashe hesitantly takes it, immediately feeling grounded when Dedue holds it firmly. He sighs, letting all the weight and regrets flow out of his body through his breath. 

“Feeling better?”

“Yes, I can’t thank you enough,” Ashe says, finally pulling away his hand to finish his tea.

“No need, we are friends and that is enough.”

― ― ― 

"Remember that book you lent me?" Felix kicks at the ground, sending low plumes of dust swirling around the training grounds.

"That one about knights and stuff? Yeah. Did you hate it?" Ashe chuckles, a smile playing on his lips. 

He shakes his head solemnly. "Actually, quite the opposite. My brother…" He trails off with glassy eyes and a shuddering breath. "He used to read it to me often. It was one of my favorites as a kid."

"Oh. I didn't know you had a brother." Ashe perks up. He didn’t realize Felix was a younger brother. Though, he certainly wasn’t the type to let anyone know anything about him. 

"It's alright. I don't let on about it. He…" Felix shifts his weight and looks at the sword he held heavy in his worn hands. "He passed away in the Tragedy of Duscur."

"Oh, I see. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." The other scoffs. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

Ashe nods quietly, keeping his eyes away from cutting coppery eyes. Though, when he finally finds the courage to meet them, he finds them almost melted gold. It’s kind of beautiful. Beautiful enough to draw tears from his own eyes. 

"Hey, I… I understand if this comes off as intrusive… but may I ask, did something happen between you and...Dimitri?"

Ashe's bites his lip with knitted brows. He nods wordlessly, opening his mouth to speak before seeing Felix’s sympathetic expression.

Felix sighs heavily and for once speaks through actions and not words. He sets his sword to the side and leans in to hug his classmate and friend. 

The boy freezes in surprise. After everything Felix has said and done to him, a comforting hug is the last thing Ashe would’ve expected. He expected a snipping remark of ‘I warned you’, or ‘you got what you asked for’. Instead, comfortable silence blankets them and Ashe lets out a shaking breath and the tears welling in his eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” the raven-haired admits. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you about any of this, ever. We learn through making mistakes, I know that more than anyone. I shouldn’t have been so cruel to you. I’m sorry.”

“Thank you,” Ashe mumbles, sinking into the other’s warmth.


	6. misty sunlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into the future to see the becoming of the Blue Lion House.

When the war broke out between the Church and the Empire, Byleth disappeared. The class subsequently dissolved into their own problems and assumed duties. Everyone grew up and apart, or so Ashe believed.

When the five-year reunion comes around, Ashe finds himself returning to the monastery despite the faint hope that anyone will really be there. It’s a pleasant surprise to find everyone there again, to say the least. At least, most of them. 

Almost everyone arrived just in time to save the future king’s fur from being soiled by bandits homing themselves in the sacred place. Sylvain, Ingrid, and Felix returned on the search for their old, crazed friend. Ashe had met up with Sir Gilbert, who was following a lead on the missing heir, on the way there. Annette returned to the Monastery with Mercedes in light of the reunion. And Dedue― Well, Dedue was presumed to have sacrificed his life for the tempest king. But for now, Ashe is focusing on the silver lining, the good in the present. 

“Ingrid! You― you cut your hair. Goddess, it suits you well. You never did like that long hair, did you? I could tell,” Ashe beams, picking their friendship back up right where they left it five years ago. 

She smiles back, brushing it back with one hand. “Yeah, I really like it now. Had to cut my hair along with my past, you know?”

“I think I do.”

“And look at you, you’re all mature and grown-up too. Not our little Ashe anymore, huh?” She grins, clapping him on the back.

“He sure isn’t! Look at how tall you are now!” Annette pipes up, squeezing between Ingrid and Felix.

Felix seems too busy talking to Sylvain to notice. They seem to be discussing something serious, but then Sylvain exuberantly butts into the conversation as well.

“Felix thinks you look very mature as well, Ashe,” he smiles.

Felix nods sheepishly with cheeks tickled pink. “Yeah.”

Sylvain clears his throat, casting his eyes across the gathering. “Actually, everyone does. I guess war just makes you grow up.” He sighs with a sorrowful yet wistful expression.

“And mature a bit,” Mercedes adds, nudging Sylvain and gesturing to his hand in Felix’s. 

The crowd of friends laughs before seeing Ashe raise his drink for a toast. “Well, here’s to our reunion.”

“To our reunion!” they all echo. 

― ― ― 

“Your majesty?”

“I’m not king yet, drop the formalities,” the former prince gruffly snaps. He barely moves from his vigil in front of the rubble in the cathedral. 

“Right...Dimitri. Here’s your share of dinner.” Ashe timidly offers a plate of food along with a glass of water to his former classmate. He backs off quickly as if he were feeding a feral cat, hovering nearby.

Dimitri scarfs down the food almost as quickly as Ashe sets it in front of him. 

“Did you make this?” He demands through a mouthful of his meal, looking at Ashe with a renewed spirit. 

Ashe nods quickly. From what he’s been told, Dimitri all too often has had trouble enjoying his food. He recalls the man lost a majority of his sense of taste after an accident as a child, and cheese was one of his only remaining tastes. Though, certain rumors speculated the accident was the Tragedy of Duscur. It overjoys him and fuels his pride in cooking to see Dimitri seeming to enjoy the meal set in front of him.

The blond makes a noise of understanding before swallowing the last of his food. “It’s so good. It takes me back to the academy days...remember those days?”

“Of course, Your Highness. Even though it was six years ago, and so much has changed since then, I remember them like yesterday.”

The unofficial king cracks a wistful smile. “Things sure have changed. But I’m glad to have everyone back by my side again.”

“I will stand by your side no matter what. My loyalty to you has never wavered since we lost you.”

The man looks up with bittersweet blue eyes to take Ashe’s sentiment with tears shining in the moonlight. “Thank you, seriously.”


End file.
